What a day of blessings! Nathan and I spent the afternoon together yesterday and saw a poster for a Scottie mix. Nathan as always wanted a Scottish terrier, and I have always had a heart to rescue the animals I care for. I have never bought an animal, only rescued or adopted from a friend. I saw Lucy's picture and fell in love. I nearly panicked because a dog like that is hard to come by and surely she had gotten adopted already, right? So I emailed the rescue and face-booked them and eventually called them. The lady, Karen, was super nice and said that I could come in the morning to see her and if I wanted to could adopt her that day! So this morning I went to her house and there was Lucy! The sweetest most loyal dog you could ask for! We need to train her a bit, but she's a quick learner and came to us potty trained. I am so glad to have a dog again after not having my own for a while. After losing Cosmo, I felt like a couldn't have another dog, but Lucy's eyes penetrated into my soul--their sweetness, and the look of "I want to be around you, I want to protect you, I want to love you" just melted me. The fact that Nathan was set on it with little discussion was the icing on the cake. Adopting a pet is a serious commitment, but I know that Nathan will love her as much as I already do. She's going camping with us next week and we look forward to many many adventures together. I am prayerful and hopeful that the cats will get used to her quickly and understand that she is not any canine visitor we have over, but that the Kim-Saad family is Lucy's Forever Home.

Good night for now. Many more adventures to come!

Anxious Excitement

Writing from a day in 2010. Great times.

Today was a day to relish.

I spent the day sorting and organizing about 20 storage boxes(the 38gallon size) worth of fabric and notions with my amazing 89 year old grandmother, Oma. I don't think I can ever have a day like that again, and for that, I am grateful for the cathartic experience of sorting through my Oma's memories.
We sorted the fabric into large scale fabrics, floral prints, misc. patterned fabrics, and she had a story for nearly every piece we looked at. It was amazing. I cherish every moment I have with her. What a blessing she is to me.

Good day my dearest friend, farewell to the world in which I live--until next time.

Long Lost Writing

So...it's been quite a while since I've written. I don't know why really, just school has overtaken my life. I am currently enrolled in my last "official" course for my Masters degree...and now all I have to do is really get on board with writing my thesis and researching. I should have my credential soon...hopefully in the next two weeks if I play my cards right, so then I can actually apply for jobs. If I get a job, I'm actually kind of scared to get a job. That means I have to either write a new set of projects to develop young artists, or follow another teacher's curriculum. Either way, it will be new challenging, exciting, and something I both welcome and dread. I am hoping that 2013 will be my year to defend my thesis and have my Masters Degree in Teaching (MAT). Hopefully that will not discourage potential employers from hiring me, since that puts me at a higher pay grade. We'll see what God has in store for me and my hubby in these next months and this next year. Maybe the pitter pattering of little feet? We'll see. So long for now.

Good day my dearest friend, farewell to the world in which I live--until next time.

Sometimes It's Goodbye

ENTRY NEVER POSTED, now I feel I can. March 14, 2011.

This weekend, to say the least, was the weekend from Hell. Cosmo went missing and we still cannot find him anywhere in my parents' neighborhood in The Canyon. We searched every bush and path, river and glen and no Cosmo to be found. Cosmo was 13 1/2 years old, deaf, and could barely walk...so where could he be? Well, since he has been missing for two days now...there is only one conclusion that I can make about him...that he left home to die. My old dog Sheba did the same thing before she suffered from a massive stroke a week after she had tried to die alone. She ran away and hid in a ditch underneath the undergrowth of a storm drain...at least then we found her, but now with Cosmo, I think he was crafty enough and found an even better spot. He's been trying to die for the past few months. I guess he knew he was dying long before we could even fathom it. It's amazing the intelligence of an animal. In most pack animals, when the elderly animal or sickly animal is at the point of death, it will leave the pack in order to protect the rest of the family. I suppose that this is what Cosmo did for us. I only wish Cosmo had had a way to tell me earlier so that I could prepare for the aching gaping hole that resides in my heart right now. I have lost another part of my childhood. In death, he feels so far away, yet in my memory he is wrestling with me on the family room carpet and understands me when I command him in German and English. Twelve years of my life, so many memories and joys, the striking pain of losing his daughter Xena to cancer 2 years ago; it is difficult to sum up all of the love I have felt for them in all those years, and still. I cannot say when I will feel "better" because I believe that I have barely begun to cope with the sadness. I feel the emptiness my heart once again as another love, another friend, another companion is lost to me in death. I can have a single comfort in that God has a place for all of His creatures in Heaven and that according to the great film, All Dogs Go To Heaven...and cats too. :) I love you, my Cosmo. I know you are with Xena again, wrestling and snuggling. Give her kiss and a cuddle for me, as I am here and you are in Heaven. I shall see you again, one day.

Good day my dearest friend, farewell to the world in which I live--until next time.

Trying to get into a groove

So here I am, once again, beginning a new school semester and loving every moment of it...and I haven't even finished a whole week. My first two classes are going to give me a new perspective on how and why I teach. Even more-so exciting is that I and my husband are going to be a part of the y320 ministry at our church, The Bridge, in Rancho Santa Margarita. y320 stands for Youth(Ephesians 3:20)

Ephesians 3:20 (New Living Translation)

²⁰ Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.

How glorious to work with youth and show them how much God loves them and what great things they can do with God!!! It brings chills to my spine and goose-pimples to my arms; I am SO excited. Ever since I started college I had this urge, this desire, to fellowship with those younger than me and to somehow, through God's graces, make a genuine connection with them and provide them a safe place to talk and express themselves. Even though I did go to church as a youth, I did not have a strong group of friends or elders that could teach me what wrong and right were. However stained my past may be, Christ has washed it clean. I have no excuses for my past sins and they are confessed to Him and I need not worry about them now. I shall always be looking forward to what God has in store for me and for ministry. What great things I can accomplish with God! I cannot wait!

Goodnight my dearest friend, farewell to the world in which I live--until next time.

Times

Hello, again. Here I am in this new year flabbergasted at how far I have come. I still have moments were I cannot breathe or I forget why I am at a certain location...but otherwise I am alright--much better. I cannot profess to complete wellness, yet I can say that I truly feel stable. It still upsets me that all of my best words come to me as I fall asleep. Why does such misfortune befall me where my greatest thoughts can never be rightly recorded? It breaks me within and shatters that one part of my soul that can never heal to its original state. I grieve for these words when I awaken at morning's first light and my inspiration fades into the rays of sunlight, blinding my mind. I cannot begin the divulge such longings and frustrations, but shall leave it at that and remain in my current condition: frustrated.
Goodnight my dearest friend, farewell to the world in which I live--until next time.

Hopeful

A little poem to tie me over until finals are over...then I shall be more consistent with my posts. :) There is a crushing pain in my chest, nothing physical, just my mind playing tricks on me. It's that feeling you get when you are in a panic and everything tightens inside. That is now, yet I am completely relaxed.

There are times when I feel exhilarated by life.
There are times when joy spills from my heart like an overfilled chalice.
There are times when I am more angry than a bull in a fight.
There are times when I remember things more than I truly desire to.
There are times when I cannot bear to go on in that day, that hour, that very second.
There are times when I miss him more than I can stand.
There are times when I smile to myself cause I had a good day.
There are times when I am so sad that all I can do is stare into the distance.
There are times when I dare not say how I feel for fear of more pain.
There are times when I write myself insane.
There are times like now that I wish...

Goodnight my dearest friend, farewell to the world in which I live--until next time.